Hope u enjoyed ur birthday today I am sure it's not even half as wonderful up there are we can imagine. I know u like to do things in style n I am sure that there is no lack of that up there.
I am trying to keep a postitive mind as much as possiable, dosen't mean that i miss u any less or that the pain is any less, but i think that I have finally accepted the fact that you are in a better place and I am going to do everything in my power to make sure that your name here is never forgotn.
Happy Happy Birthday Ness. I just ask one thing I know it's your day n all but pls come visit me in my dreams I miss ur face n ur voice n i need to hear n see u.
Hope u enjoyed seeing everyone today at the cemetery.
time goes by and things change so much and it still hurts like crazy to not have you here. We have been watching my home videos and to hear your voice and see you in real life is sosososososo priceless. I miss you Ness and time makes it a little bit easier but the pain will forever be a part of my life. I am trying my best to be positive and think of the good times but sometimes it is so hard. I feel as though I am doing ok but then a horrible thought or vision comes to my mind and that is it I am spinning out of control with pain and emptiness. I think of how you would look now, your 21st birthday is in a couple of weeks and I just dont have words to tell you how I feel that you never got to see past your 18th birthday. I try to emagine what your wedding day would be like and what dress you would have chosen and how beautiful you would be. It is times that these thoughts come to me that makes me spin out of control..
If I had one wish it would be to have to back so that I could see you go through all the wonderful stages of life.
i hope you dont think i forgot about you because i didnt.. i never will.. well i was just searching the net and realized a young girl passed away and how hurt everyone was by it and it made me realize i really missed you.. i havent been able to understand yet why you had to leave and i still have not healed from it.. everyday that goes by i am constantly thinking of you and talkin about u ..LITERALLY... i miss u way to much and i luv u so much and never forget that.
So sorry for the loss of your vanessa / Jenny Brown (Stranger)
I am so sorry to read about the very sad loss of Vanessa. My Daughter was diagnosed with Long QT after a long illness. She now has a 9 month old baby who has alos been diagnosed. I feel so ignorant about this awful condition. I feel that I didn't learn enough about it when my daughter was first diagnosed. But after reading about your beautiful daughter and her life, I will do much more to educate myself. I will always keep your family and Vanessa in my thoughts. Jenny Close
Changes.../ Joanne Savino (Sister)
Can you see the change in me? It may not be so obvious to you I participate in family activities. I attend family reunions.. I help plan holiday meals.
You tell me you're glad to see that I don't cry anymore. But I do cry! When everyone has gone - when it is safe- the tears fall. I cry in privacy so my family won't worry. I cry until I am exhausted and can finally sleep. You tell me you admire my strength and my positive attitude.
But I am not strong, I feel that I have lost control; and I panic when I think about tomorrow.... next week.... next year. I go about the routine of my job. I complete my assigned tasks. I drink coffee and smile.
You tell me you are glad to see I'm "over" the death of my loved one. But I'm not "over" it. If I get overit, I will be the same as before my loved one died. I will never be the same.
At times I think I am beginning to heal , but the pain of losing someone I loved so much has left a permanent scar on my heart. I visit my neighbors.
You tell me that you're glad to see I'm holding up so well. But I'm not holding up well. Sometimes I want to lock the door and hide from the world. I spend time with my friends, I seem calm and collected. I smile when appropriate. You tell me it's good to see me back to my "old self" But I will never be back to my "old self". Death and grief, have touched my life....
Christmas.../ Joanne Savino (Sister)
How come at this time of year I feel so sad?? I just want to know when I am going to feel the same agian....??? I miss you Ness and my whole life is so hard...I love you.. I just would love to go to sleep from Dec 1 till Jan 2 because I can not bear to see all this Christmas cheer with out you. I try so hard to be happy and enjoy all the wonderful things around me but I just can't. I just can not live my life like this. I try to be happy and show Daniela that my heart is not aching but the reality is that I can not longer pretend to be happy. I am miserable and can not break free of this aching feeling.
I really do try for Nella because I do not want her to remember her Christmas's with me as " all my mom did was cry the whole time". I want her to have happy and warm memories but that is so hard for me...I just do not know what to do any more...........?????????
I think of you all the time and just miss you so much....I am sad all the time and have no clue what to do with my self sometimes....It really could make me go crazy sometimes..... Please send me an angel to watch over me and give me some sort of meaning to my life..because noting makes sense to me and nothing seems to be fair....i feel lost with out you
Life in meaningless and I need some meaning please send me some sort of meaning. LOVE YOU
hi ness it's me just wanted to say hi and that i miss u so much.My heart still aches of how much i miss u. It feel's like yesterday u called me and said do u want to go out. It has been so hard without u here nothing and no one has been the same sice u passed away i still have dream's about u and how u are still with us but then when i wake up i just cry because i wish that u are still here with us.Sometimes i get scared because i hear all these thing's in my head and i get so scared.i just wish that u were still here with us and we can be a big happy family again.because thing's have been all over the place sice u died and i think u know because u are always watching down on us and making sure everone is ok. I want u to watch over everyone because it has not been the same i want u to make sure every one is ok and every thing is ok.i love u ness.
I am sending all my love to you, Angel and to your family who love and miss you every day. Send some extra love to them, Vanessa, and let them know you are near.
Time nor distance can break the bond that sisters have... / Jenn Chiasson (Sister)Read >>
Time nor distance can break the bond that sisters have... / Jenn Chiasson (Sister)
Ness, 2 years have gone by and it feels like centuries ! I don't think that i have actually accepted that u are gone !! I know that there is not an hour that goes by that i don't think about u ! I talk about u all the time but it still hurts ! I still don't grasp the concept of all this ! ur gone!!!! ?????? what ? U will always be a part of my life no matter what ! ur my heart ur my strength I go on some times just to make u proud ! pls give strength to everyone else in the family. WE all need u now
I know one day we will be together again ! until that day my heart will never feel complete ! Until then my dear dear sister ! Amore mio !
2 Years.. and still missin you!! / Laura Gualtieri (Shattyyyy)Read >>
2 Years.. and still missin you!! / Laura Gualtieri (Shattyyyy)
Amoreeee ,
Its been 2 years exactly today and i still cant believe it!! it was like yesturday.. Eva had called me and asked me if i was sitting down.. i knew it was gonna be bad... and surely, she told me u had passed away.. its still so hard to except that your gone.. not having u here for 2 years, 730 days, 17,520 hours... its seems soo long ago but yet it felt like yesturday.. I hope your doing well up there with all your loved ones that have passed on .. please give Victor a big hug and kiss for me.. Today is your day .. theres a balloon release and also a mass in memory of u ... im sorri that i cant make it to the balloon release but i will be there for sure at the church..
"i dont know when, i dont know how, but i alreadi know that one day we'll be together again!"
I love you Vane.. r.i.p bella mia xoxox
Love always and forever your #1 Shatty xoxox Close
2 years / Joanne Savino (Sister)
They say what does not kill you makes you stronger and that is the truth....some times I just stop and think about it....the only one thing that kept me alive is Daniela...she needs me to take care of her...she reminds me so much of you when you were her age....she is doing swimming and ballet now and she loves it (but she does not like to put her face in the water, just like you did'nt). I try my best to not break down in front of her but sometimes I just can't help it. She loves you and misses you...she always asks me "Mom when is zia Ness comming back"???? I am not sure what to tell her because I want to shelter her like I did with you....We had such a special bond and that brings me peace because I know that when you were here I gave you all that I could have and more. I love you like you are my own child...It is like I lost a child...
The last 2 years have been hard but at the same time it has made me stronger.....I miss you so much and wish that I could come and see you just to know that you are ok and happy......The pain does not get easier you just learn to live with it.....the tears do not stop you just learn to hide them....and most of all the fears of it happening all over agian will never ever go away becasue it is the life we have and the life I have to deal with......I try and live my life normally but that no longer exsists..normal is what I will never be again....my life is changed and I live with this everyday.....
Tributes and Condolences
! Until then my dear dear sister ! Amore mio ! 
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